What if the car industry was audited?

Recently I went through a battery of audits at work, and each one has succeeded in stripping away our ability to get work done in anything resembling a timely manner. I have been wondering what they would do if they audited the auto industry as strictly as the audit IT…

Auditor: We have looked at your cars, and their design presents a huge security risk in that the same person, the driver, is allowed to operate both the speed and direction at the same time. This risk presents opportunities for severe abuse including running people over, smashing through buildings, or running other cars off the road.

Car Designer: We have been building cars the same way for over 50 years, and there has never been an issue.

Auditor: Do you have data to prove that? We didn’t think so. We have statistics that indicate that throughout those 50 years, thousands of cars have run other people over, smashed through buildings, and have run other cars off the road.

Car Designer: Well, what would you suggest as a possible solution?

Auditor: Our recommendation is to move the steering wheel to the passenger side, so that two people are required to drive a car; one will control the speed and the other one will control the steering. This will enforce a checks and balances pattern that will remove the ability for any one individual to abuse their driving power for malicious intent.

Car Designer: But what if the two drivers decide to work together to run someone over?

Auditor: That is why we are also recommending that a barrier be installed between the drivers so that they cannot communicate intent, thus eliminating the ability for them to coordinate such a malicious act.

Car Designer: If they cannot communicate, how will they be able to drive the car in a coordinated fashion?

Auditor: We are not trying to eliminate communications. That would be crazy. Therefore, we recommend that a small trapdoor be installed in the barrier so that notes can be passed back and forth, such as “turn left” or “slow down”.

Car Designer: But by the time a note is written and passed over, the original intent will have been lost, and someone will have been run over, a building will have been smashed through, or a car will have been driven off the road.

Auditor: That is out of the scope of this audit. Another firm will be coming in 3 months from now to assess these potential issues.


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